The Trial of Goldilocks

“All rise for Judge Jenkins,” cried the usher, as the bewigged judge entered the chamber.

“Please sit,” said the judge, “except for the prisoner.”

The young girl, shaking but just managing to hold back her tears stood alone in the dock - a forlorn figure. “Miss Goldilocks, you are charged with breaking and entering the three bears’ cottage, with stealing their food, damaging their property and then falling asleep in their bed. You are further charged with entering this country illegally. How do you plead?”

The defence counsel stood to his feet. “My Lord, my client pleads guilty to all charges but would like to claim mitigation for all of them.”

Judge Jenkins leaned forward, his spectacles sliding to the edge of his nose. "The court will hear your client’s mitigation, Mr. Goodfellow. Please proceed."

The defence counsel adjusted his tie and cleared his throat. "Thank you, My Lord. My client was lost in the woods. She had not eaten for two days when she stumbled upon the bears' cottage. The door was unlocked, and she entered only to seek help. Miss Goldilocks found porridge on the table. In her famished state, she sampled it. We will show that no malice was intended and will ask the court for leniency.”

“Thank you, counsel,” said the judge. “Members of the jury, your task is to listen to the evidence you are about to hear supplied by the prosecution counsel and the mitigating circumstances provided by the defence. After due discussion between yourselves you must then reach a verdict upon which you agree. Mr Rage, your case for the prosecution please.”

The prosecutor was a red-faced weasel who looked like he would rather be outside the pub across the road with a pint in one hand and a fag in the other. His self-satisfied smirk implied a life of privilege in which he was used to being indulged. “Your honour, the prosecution intends to show that the prisoner knowingly and willingly broke into the three bears’ house, stole their food and tried to set up home there going so far as to fall asleep in Baby Bear’s bed. We have three witnesses, your honour namely the three bears themselves, Daddy Bear, Mummy Bear, and Baby Bear. They will testify to the damage done to their property and the trauma they suffered upon finding an intruder in their home.

“Well let’s get on with it then,” said the judge.

"For my first witness I would  like to call Daddy Bear.

Daddy Bear was a large, well dressed, self important-looking bear who seemed a little nervous. It was his first time in a court of law.. He took his place in the witness box. The prosecutor pushed back his hair and began. “In your own words, Daddy Bear, can you tell the court what happened on the morning of 5th August last year.”

“Er well, my wife had made breakfast, porridge as usual, made with my own oats which I’d grown myself, My Lord.... B.b.,b but it was too hot. So we decided that as it was a sunny morning we’d go for a walk whilst the porridge cooled.”

“Go on.”

“Well, when we got back from our walk we found that someone had eaten a bit of my porridge, a bit of Mummy Bear’s and all of Baby Bear’s.”

“How did you feel about that.”

“Well pretty annoyed really.” Daddy Bear  was now feeling more confident. Rising to the challenge he carried on. “It’s not right you know. I’d worked hard growing  oats for the porridge. No-one has the right to come in and just take our food. There’s too much of this thing going on.”

“Thank you, Mr Bear. We understand but please stick to the question. Do go on with your account.”

“Well, I noticed that the chairs had been moved and we found this girl here asleep in Baby Bear’s bed.”

“That must have been quite a shock. What happened then?”

“Well I was staggered. You don’t expect that. People just coming into your house and sleeping in your bed. The nerve of it. I tell you, I was annoyed. I shouted out. This girl... well she jumped up and leapt out of the window before we could do anything. She ran off into the woods. These refugees, we need to do something about them you know, coming here expecting handouts. The country can’t afford it, My Lord.”

“Thank you, Mr Bear. No further questions, your honour.”

“Mr Goodfellow, your witness, please.”

“Thank you, your honour. I just want to clarify one point with you. Mr Bear. When you left the house did you lock the door?”

“No, we always leave the door unlocked. No-one comes.”

“Therefore, the defendant did not break in. In fact your house was open for anyone to wander into.”

“But, but...”

“No further questions for this witness, your honour.”

“Thank you, Mr Bear. You may leave the witness box, now. Mr Rage, please call your next witness.”

“I’d like to call Mummy Bear to the witness box.”

Mummy Bear was a slightly smaller version of her husband but just as wide. She positioned herself in the witness box and looked around, gazing and waving at her friends in the gallery. “Mrs Bear, in your own words can you tell us what happened on the morning of 5th August last year?”

“Well it wus like Daddy Bear said. We wus out fer a walk whilst the porridge was cooling and this wastrel of a girl broke into our house. They don’t care you know. We’ve worked hard for what we have and then these people come over here and just think they can take, take, take. It’s not on you know. We have enough people in this country without opening the doors to everyone. And they don’t work you know…”

“Yes, Mrs Bear,” interrupted the judge. “Please just answer the questions that counsel has put to you.”

“I have no further questions for this witness, your honour.”

“Mr. Goodfellow, your witness.”

The defence counsel rose to his feet and approached Mummy Bear with a gentle smile on his face. “Mrs Bear, you seem like a reasonable family bear. Would you say the defendant was violent, aggressive or confrontational in any way.”

“Well no.”

“Did she leave when you woke her?”

“I’ll say. She was off like an arrow from a bow..”

“Did she damage anything in the house?”

“Well she ate Baby Bear’s porridge.”

“So, apart from eating your son’s porridge everything else was as you left it when you went for your walk?”

“Well the bed needed making.”

“Thank you Mrs Bear. No further questions for this witness your honour.”

“Mr Rage, would you call your final witness. He does look quite small. Usher, please bring a stool for Baby Bear to stand on.”

Baby Bear approached the witness box with a confident air looking around and waving at the jury, the counsels and even Goldilocks.

“Baby Bear, don’t be nervous. I just want you to answer my questions truthfully,” said Mr Rage.

“I’m not nervous.”

“Could you tell the jury how you felt when you came back from your walk and found there was no porridge for you.”

“Actually, I was quite pleased. I’m fed up of porridge. We have it every day. So if Goldilocks wanted the porridge it was alright with me.”

“But that’s stealing and stealing’s wrong isn’t it.”

“But I didn’t want it and she needed it more than me so what’s  the problem. If I’d been there I would have given her the porridge. No skin off my nose…or the porridge for that matter.”

Everyone in the court had difficulty suppressing a chuckle. Mr Rage’s face went even pinker. No more questions, your honour.”

“Mr. Goodfellow, your witness.”

“I have no questions for this witness your honour.”

“Very well, let’s move on to the defence. Mr. Goodfellow, please call your first witness.”

“I have only one witness, your honour. Please call the defendant to the stand.”

Goldilocks pushed her flowing hair from her face. Her clothes flapped around her emaciated body. She was like a dandelion in a summer breeze. As she stumbled to the witness box and gazed at her counsel, her lips trembled.

“Miss Goldilocks, please don’t be nervous. You’ve already been through a lot. Could you tell your story to the court and explain how you came to be here?”

“Th..th..the country where I was born is a long way away. I had a good life there until the war started. P..p..people were dying; the soldiers burnt the crops; there was no food. It wasn’t a good place. My mummy and daddy said that we should leave. We walked many miles through many countries, through lots of different weather until we came to the sea. Your country was on the other side.”

“Why were you coming to our country?”

“We thought your country was kind and caring and would let us live here and we’d be safe. We thought my Daddy and Mummy would be able to work and I would be able to go to school. Also we all spoke English. Many people in my country speak English because you taught us your language when you came to our country a long time ago.”

She took a sip of water.

“Go on with your story, Goldilocks”

“When we reached the sea there were lots of other people there, a few from our country, but all waiting to cross. A man with a big rubber boat said he could get us across but we must pay him. But my Daddy did not have enough money for all three of us so he paid for me and my mother and said he would wait and try to earn some more money for himself.”

“How did you feel about leaving your father behind?”

“I was very sad but he said it was the best thing to do.”

“So, you and your mother managed to get on a boat?”

“Yes, but there were lots of people on that boat. T..t..too many. Some of them fell off.” Goldilocks tried to stifle her tears. “My mother was one of them. She couldn’t swim.”

“Take a moment,” said the judge.

“I’m sorry,” said Goldilocks. “When we got to the other side there were men waiting to bundle us into a van. I don’t know where they were going. They didn’t notice me. I was very frightened so I hid in the sand dunes and waited for them to go.”

“What did you do then.”

“I started walking. I was hungry and tired. Then I saw a house. The door was open so I went in. There was no-one there but there were three bowls of porridge on the table. I tasted one but it was too hot, I tasted the second one but it was too salty but the third one was just right. So, I ate it all because I was very, very hungry.”

“Then what did you do?”

“Well I was tired so I went into another room which was a bedroom. There were three beds there. One of them was too high for me, the second one was too lumpy but the third one was just right. I was so tired I fell asleep there.”

“Can you tell us what happened when the three bears came back?”

“They woke me up. I was scared of them especially the two big ones. The little one seemed more friendly. I managed to run away and hid in the woods but the policemen found me the next day.”

“What would you like to happen to you now, Miss Goldilocks?”

“I want to stay in this country. I want to become a doctor. I was very good at school back home. I was top of my class. I don’t want to go back. I’m scared of what they will do to me.”

“Thank you Miss Goldilocks.”

“Your counsel, Mr Rage.

The prosecution counsel rose slowly to his feet adjusting his gown, creating his own theatre. “Miss Goldilocks, you are obviously an intelligent young woman. Don’t you realise we can’t have people coming into our country without permission and the proper papers.”

“I don’t see why not. I read in the paper that you have a house in Germany and another one in Mexico. You can live there if you want. I don’t think it’s fair that some people can live where they want whilst people like my family have to scrape a living with bombs falling all around them. It’s not right. How would you like to live like that?”

“Miss Goldilocks, It’s you that’s on trial here, not me. What gives you the right to come here and expect this country to look after you, feed you and  educate you.”

“The world is small. We can’t live in isolation, Mr Rage. One day you might need me to operate on you and save your life. And I would do that.”

Mr Rage’s face began to take on the colour of the judge’s robes. “Your honour, I have no further questions for this witness.”

“Very wise, Mr Rage.”

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you have now heard from the witnesses for the prosecution and the defence. You have heard the mitigating circumstances in this case. I will now ask the learned counsels for their closing statements. Mr Rage, please.

“Thank you, your honour. We have now heard from the Bear family how this young woman did..... by her own admission...... break into their family home, steal their young son’s breakfast and then brazenly purloin the young bear’s bed. I can see only one verdict.  You must find this girl guilty on all charges. As for mitigating circumstances. What sort of country will we become if we allow anybody in difficult circumstances to come here, sponge on our good nature just because we once went to their country over a hundred years ago to educate them? There is no doubt that Goldilocks is guilty. I rest my case.

“Mr. Goodfellow, please.”

“Thank you, your honour. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I think you’ll agree with me that this a very sad case. This young girl and her family travelled thousands of miles to our country because they thought they’d be safe, because they thought they would be welcomed, because they thought that we might owe them something after we had colonised their country over a hundred years ago. What sort of people are we if we cannot pay our debts? It’s not as if we will lose by allowing this intelligent and determined young woman to live here. She has lost her home, her family but she still has the strength, the character and the resourcefulness which was there in abundance when she travelled thousands of miles across two continents for two years to come to us here. She will be an asset to us and has already promised to operate on Mr Rage’s heart. I ask you to show some compassion and find Goldilocks innocent of these charges. Thank you My Lord.”

“Thank you, Mr. Goodfellow. Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, you have heard the testimony of the Bear family and the mitigating circumstances outlined by Miss Goldilocks and her counsel. I ask you now to retire and decide amongst yourselves whether the defendant is guilty of a crime against this country or is in fact an innocent victim.”